Exile's phenomenal Diary

Meme

2009-10-11T05:31:16Z

I saw this on LJ of my friend and that's something I found interesting.
So I'm doing it too - but not in german but in english.

Rules:

- Pick the book next to you (not your favourite one but the book nearest to you)
- Open it on page 56
- Find sentence 5 and quote it on your LJ

My Quote:

"If I can."
(said by Harry Kim - Star Trek Voyager, Full Circle by Kirsten Beyer)

A/N: When I first tried it, I had another book in my hand and it had on page 56 only 2 and half sentence. But then I saw, that I have another book laying behind my notebook. It was fun ^^ so please try too.

Thank you eijisenpai

9 crimes - Tezuka's view

2009-01-04T23:39:28Z

Title: 9 crimes - Tezuka's view (better suggestions are welcome)
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Pairing: Tezuka x Fuji
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: smex... and bad english...
Word count: ~2600
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Characters belong to... whoever had created them. And the idea of the story belongs solely to demonessryu

A/N: If you haven't read 9 crimes by demonessryu, than you should do that before reading this. Because it's an official spin off. I tried to imagine how Tezuka felt, so this story ends before Ryus Omake to 9 crimes.
Hope it isn't to bad - I tried my best, but I'm still unpracticed in writing in english. My boyfriend was so nice and had beta-ed it, but he doesn't likes yaoi and I don't think I found all the mistakes. And it's also my very first time to write TeFu-smut...

So this is for Ryu and special thanks goes to lovefujitez because her Thesaurus she gave me helped very much! Please feel free to go on. XD

9 Crimes - Tezuka's view

Tezuka Kunimitsu always knew what he wanted and of course he was aware of what he couldn't have. He always strove for the expectations of his parents. He always obeyed the wishes of his grandfather. This let him grew into a young adult at the age of fourteen. The teachers liked his reliability and everyone respected him.

Well... that he would have thought if there wasn't Fuji Syusuke.

He could remember the day he first recognized the brunette tennis tensai and he knew back then that he couldn't grant his heart's greatest wish; but he never failed to watch.

And watching was what he did all those years. He watched as his Syusuke grew older and more frustrating. He watched Syusuke disturbing the peace of his team. He watched as the brunette commited his first crime.

Tezuka felt betrayed although his expression never changed. His gaze never changed. He still watched over his team but his heart ached and he thought he could never forgive Syusuke for that. The brunette should belong solely to him and nobody else. It hurt, that one, two, three of the regulars had the petite man before he could even bring himself to touch him.

Four, five, six... by now it was hard to continue watching. Everytime Fuji entered with another team member his heart screamed. His jealousy rose. He just couldn't watch anymore. They shared glances but he occupied his mind more with the club. He gave his attention away, away from his Syusuke, who strayed for the seventh time. Who betrayed him again and again and again. Who hurt his heart, his soul, his everything.

Still - Syusuke was out of reach. Syusuke was something he could never have. It was against the law. It was against everything he was taught. It was against nature but his feelings grew and grew and Fuji hurt him again and again.
He couldn't bear it anymore. He couldn't stand by and watch anymore as his Syusuke commited crime after crime. Who sinned and stained the angelic soul of his. His fallen angel Fuji Syusuke.

Even if it wasn't one of the regulars - Tezuka could see when Syusuke did it again... and again. He knew it the moment he stepped on the courts. The moment where everyone went silent - some anxious, others attentive and Fuji oblivious. No - not oblivious. By now Tezuka knew that the tensai continued chatting with Inui in purpose. He just knew that this was Syusukes way of dealing with his sins. It was the brunettes habit of informing him, that he did it again and it won't be the last time.

Their eyes locked briefly and Fuji again was flashing him a smile. But he couldn't be fooled. Tezuka just couldn't be fooled by those curved lips. His heart ached again and he just had to divert his attention. Who knew what would happen if he occupied himself with his jealousy. With the thought that again it wasn't him to share the bed with this angel. And although Fuji stained himself again and again, Tezuka never stopped to love him. Never gave up on his growing feelings, on the one thing he could never have. The only dream he could never gain.

He couldn't hate Fuji for what he did to him. He just loved him more and more and more. He ached for Fuji to love him back, to reciprocate his feelings, to see the truth behind the facade they both wore. But it was still the same. Syusuke didn't belong to him and the only thought keeping him alive was, that his angel didn't belonged to anyone else either.
By now he turned away more often than not. He just couldn't watch anymore. He had to do something about it.

He wasn't proud of himself. This part of the town wasn't where people like him, like his angel should be. The dim lights gave the whole place an eery look. Shadows loomed behind every corner and the people who came across him stared at him, letting him feel more out of place than he already felt.
But it had to be done. He had to rescue his friend. His team-mate. His only one. He had to be the last crime Syusuke commited. He was the one who should have been there in the first place.
Tezuka knew he had to help Fuji, to let him see the truth. His fallen angel was about to commit an unforgivable sin - he couldn't let this happen. His heart ached more than enough.

He listened to the music but still felt out of place. He got himself something to drink and watched the crowd of people dancing away. He shouldn't be here. His family would be disappointed if they knew where he was. They probably thought he was on the tennis courts again. Maybe thought he was at some friends house to study for the upcoming exams. That was what he was supposed to do, but was also something he couldn't do today. Not when he knew that Fuji was here. Not when he knew, what Fuji was about to do. He just couldn't watch this anymore.

And sure enough - he found his Syusuke among the crowd, dancing away, swaying his hips, looking just as damn irresistable as ever. And he wasn't the only one paying attention to the erotically movements of the brunette tensai, the creamy skin, the excited look of enjoyment.
Soon enough the strangers where moving with Fuji. Tezuka could clearly see how they competed to each other. How in his mind the ugliest one won and Fuji began to solely dance with him, with this... stranger.

Again his jealousy rose. It hurt to breath as he watched intently how Fuji, the one and only Syusuke, slung his arms around this ugly strangers neck. How his team-mate lured the unknown man in, drawing him closer and closer, swaying their hips in unison.

And then his reeling thoughts came to an abrupt halt as Fujis crystal clear curelean eyes found him, shock visible in the swimming pools of the deepest blue sea he ever saw. There was a growing panic in Syusuke and he totally knew why. He had followed his team-mate on purpose. He was the one at fault this time. He was the one who wanted to catch Fuji as the tensai was about to commit another crime. To stain this soul of his again, to hurt Tezuka in the way without any visible regrets.
He, as team captain, as friend, as team-mate, as the one who loved Fuji most, couldn't let this happen. Not again, not this time, not in the future and certainly not with a total stranger. As long as he knew the people Fuji slept with, it wasn't as great as a deal as when he just didn't know anything anymore. When he couldn't predict the outcome anymore.

The world stopped, as Fujis lips curved. The smirk hollow and cold. Yes, now he knew for sure that the honey-brown haired angel did all this on purpose, did it just to hurt him.
He saw as his Syusuke moved closer and closer to the stranger, their arousals evident on their looks and on closer inspection in between their bodies. It overwhelmed him as he saw the pleasure running through Fujis body. He had to act fast before it was to late. He had to rescue Syusuke now. He had to seperate the stranger and his angel.
But the only thing he could do, was walk away. There wasn't much left of his aching, shattered heart. He was always the one standing aside watching and he knew from the beginning that it was a terrible mistake to come here, to follow Fuji around.

He hadn't expected Fuji chase after him, to abandon the stranger and reach out to him. He couldn't help but stare at Syusuke hurt and betrayed.

"Leaving so soon? Didn't you enjoy the show?" Fujis question hurt even more. How could Syusuke play around like this? How could he betray him again and again and again even though by now both knew, that they never failed to see one another. That HE never failed to see Syusuke.

"I have seen enough." He was astounded how cold his voice sounded. How angered and hurt, just like he felt and he saw on the flicker in Fujis blue eyes that he got his message across.

"You haven't seen anything. I could show you more." As Fujis body pressed closer, as this invitation reached his ears, his brain, his heart, his everything, he knew he couldn't back down anymore. His gaze fixed on his Syusuke, he for once wanted to sin, wanted to commit a crime himself, wanted to reach out to Syusuke and never let him go again. To have his fallen angel was the sweetest sin and he wouldn't let the opportunity pass.

Tezuka didn't know, why it had to be here. The place wasn't right. They went to a cheap motel, the owner uncaring who occupied the rooms as long as you could pay him. He began to feel filthy, he began to feel like he bought Fuji and he frowned as the brunette pushed him down on the cheap mattress, spread his legs with skilled touches and opened his trousers with his teeth.
He could feel the hot breath on his growing arousal. He could feel the attention of Fuji on him which made at last him forget, where they were. He was with Syusuke. His fallen angel wasn't with a stranger, couldn't commit another crime.

Now it was his time to sin.

He watched closely as Fuji moaned around his twitching errection. Watched the content look on this angelic face. Watched and watched and just couldn't avert his eyes anymore. He felt the heat, the passion and couldn't help but sigh and moan and urg Fuji to go on and on and on by jerking his hips lightly. He clung to the sheet, to control himself. He let Fuji lead and savored everything he got. And it felt good as the brunette bobbed his head up and down. As the skilled tongue rounded his hardened flesh and licked and tasted him. It was overwhelming just how utterly right it felt. How this was what he wanted all along.

It wasn't before long, that Fuji looked at him, looking into his deep brown passionate gaze with his own curelean, pleasure clouded eyes.
He felt the hand urging his thigh to spread a little wider, to give his angel more access. He couldn't help but moan and sigh and shut his eyes for a moment, just feeling pleasure and the movements of the young man his heart craved for. Faster, better and so near to something unbelievably good.

"Fuji." It had to stop. It should last longer, forever if someone had asked him. But there were only he and his angel. Only them to enjoy the moment of bliss and passion and longing and silent understanding.
Again he let Fuji lead the way, he allowed the tansai to undress him, to show him, what he thought he wouldn't know already, what he couldn't tell by the contented, dreamy looks of Fujis former lovers.
He settled to just watch what was coming. He watched as Syusuke undressed him, discarded his clothes as something totally unnecessary. They would all get wrinkled but he couldn't have cared any less as he watched Fuji undressing himself, stripping infront of his intent gaze, revealing perfectly white skin. Revealing the feminine features and the fine muscels that weren't as visible as his own trained ones. They just didn't show as much as his own although Tezuka knew they were there.

It wasn't before long, that Fuji joined him in bed, touched and kissed him along the way. His thighs tingled and his stomach clenched in anticipation, showing more of his muscels and let his eyes glazing over even more.
He never stopped watching, even as Fuji knelt above him and grabbed the lube. His eyes stayed fixed on the brunette who slathered his fingers with the slick substance, leaned over and touched himself.

Tezuka shuddered lightly as he saw and heard Fuji moan. His skin tingled and he never felt this alive. He never wanted more or less and he couldn't help to inhale sharply as Fuji caressed his chest and pinched his hardened nippel.
He felt Fuji moving his fingers in and out. He saw the passion in those deep pools and he could feel himself flushing. His Syusuke looked so hot and it hurt ten times more to know, that he wasn't the only one to see this look on the brunette angel.
But he concentrated solely on Fuji and couldn't help but sigh and grunt as again his own arousal was being stroked. The hand moved skilled up and down his shaft and he felt all wet and sticky but oh so good. He wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He wouldn't want this dream to end.

Thankfully they continued before he felt himself lose control. He wanted Fuji, he wanted him like nothing else in the whole world, and there his angel was, teasing him endlessly but also moving on and on, leading the way to the inevitable.
Tezuka felt and watched as Fuji slathered his weeping errection with whatever of the lube remained on the preparing fingers. He saw the creamy white skin flush over as he filled the slim body up to the hilt. Hearing Fuji moan like that was pure bliss, mending his broken pride and hurt heart.
Again the tensai didn't cease to surprise him. The smirk told him, that again he would be teased, tortured relentlessly and all he could do was thrust into his friend, reminding him, what they both wanted, what they both needed, what he needed.

Fuji took the lead, bouncing up and down, seemingly searching. Tezuka felt the tight heat around his rock hard flesh and he couldn't help but moan quietly along with his angel. He never stopped the movement not even, as Syusuke stopped shortly, head thrown back, mouth opened to release a sharp, pleasure-filled cry. Tezukas eyes never left his team-mate, never left because he wouldn't know if it would last. Maybe it still was an illusion, maybe it still was his dream, his wet, wet dream of his angel. He won't lose him, he won't lose to him.
He would keep this dream alive with each thrust, now that Fuji was solely his and his alone.

"...gonna... come...", he heard Fuji gasp out and all he could do, was hold him harder and thrusting deeper. He knew he too wouldn't last any longer than his friend who again touched himself. He couldn't shut his eyes. He couldn't avert his gaze as the brunette fisted his own arousal and looked at him with those overly blue eyes, washed over with pleasure, looking like a stormy sea. So deep... so near... so complete... so right.

And then all was over. His vision blurred as Fuji clenched around him, crying out his pleasure, spilling his essence on his sweaty skin. He was falling and flying as his body jerked with unknown feelings. He felt whole and content and... so unbelievably happy, as he shot all of him into the one and only he ever craved for.

This was a big and oh so sweet mistake and Tezuka knew, from now on he would sin again and again and again. He wouldn't let Fuji leave his side anymore. He would hold him dear, fix him with his gaze and attention, root him to his side and make clear, that he wouldn't tolerate any straying anymore.
He would make Fuji relent, he would make Syusuke mend all the hurtings and heart breaking moments he had gone through. Now as he had his love by his side, he would make him pay for the crimes he had commited.

But this... this would start next morning as sleep washed over Tezuka. It was just the beginning - not the end.

Meme

2009-01-04T08:44:26Z

Since I can't sleep anymore and have finished some of my fics I found the time to do this. >.< I usually ignore those things so I won't tag anyone. I don't even have six people on my friends list... duh.
But it sure is fun to answer those questions and practice my english. So here we go:

a. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
b. Tag six people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

1. What type of food do you like most?
chicken and noodles. I don't mind in which form they come around XD

2. How do you style your hair?
eh? I don't 'style' it. I just brush it and fix tem with clips or whatever comes across, so they can't invade my ~~beautiful~~ face. They tickle and itch and I just don't like my hair anyway. It's far too long.

3. What is making you happy right now?
That I could finish a TeFu-Oneshot XD

4. What are you currently reading?
Dubliners (english), Tintenherz (ink heart)

5. Do you need music to study/write?
no I don't need it, but sometimes it helps

6. What was the last book you read?
finished or begun to read?
finished it must be some german romance novel.
begun and not finised by now it would be dubliners (in english)

7. When was your first sleepover?
I can't remember. I believe I was very young then XD

8. Do you have a crush at the moment?
I have the man of my dreams beside me... I'm totally in love.

9. What is your favorite movie genre?
comedy, romance, action...

10. What was the last thing you ate today?
nothing @.@

11. What’s your morning routine?
I stop my alarm from waking me any further. An hour after my alarm i stand up, doing all kind of morning stuff and then I go to work or if it isn't a working day I start my laptop and read/write/do whatever...

12. What websites do you visit daily?
livejournal, Animexx, ff.net

13.Which was the last Album you bought?
I can't really remember myself. I think it was the soundtrack of Pirates of the caribbean.

14. Which languages do you wish you spoke?
Japanese, russian, latin, portugese, spanish, some of the indian languages, korean,... I love languages so if I could, I would speak all of them.

15. What was the weirdest dream you've ever had?
A pregnant, very big bird spider behind my frigde... it was red and ugly with hairs all over her body. And she got many many babies. *shudder*
Well since I knew already that such animal doesn't exist before waking up (and there were people, who couldn't have been there anyway so I just knew that it was a dream) I guess it can be said, that it was a weird dream.

16. What are you daydreaming about right now?
Tezuka and Fuji RPGs XD
Well they are all plot bunnies anyway...
So it's Tezuka on my mind (always).

17. Who are you current favourite artistes?
I don't know. I don't watch films often.
I guess I like them all if they fit the roll they have to play.

18. Where would you like your next holiday to be?
I want to travel to the netherlands, and Munich and New York and Japan and, and, and... I don't mind where my holiday is as long I can spend it with friends and nice people.

19. What was the best present you ever received?
That would be my digital SLR *O* I so totally love my friends who gave them to me!

20. Tell me something you love about the person who tagged you.
She is a very good writer and... nice to people who write them unwanted drabbles about Tezuka and Fuji XD

~*~
So... hopefully some of you (demonessryu) are happy now.
I'll go and try to reread and correct the spin off from 9 crimes. If you hadn't read it by now - do it: 9 Crimes by demonessryu

O

2008-12-12T16:46:49Z

Today was... GOOD!

Although I'm very exhausted from work, it was my lucky day!

Yesterday I received a notice from my post office that the long awaited mail with my newly bought doujis is there for me to pick up.
But yesterday it was to late to get to the post office so I decided to pick it up today.

Today started with me having to stand up one hour earlier than usual. That was because the appliance for my warm water and rediator was malfunctioning and the plumber would come between 7 and 8 am. Pretty early but now I've got warm water again and my flat is cosy. I don't need to wear pullovers and jackets anymore XD

Well... I was lucky because he didn't need to change the pump. He only changed a valve and it only costed 200 Euro within his working hours. So that's pretty cheap for a plumber in Austria.

After that I went to the post office to pick up the mail from finland. Since it was early in the morning there weren't many people and it was a quick exchange (post notice for my mail).
I should have looked better than and there but I was so very happy and content, that it didn't occure to me, that it could have been the wrong parcel. It too was addressed to me, but it wasn't from Finland.

I went to work without looking what was in the package. And it was a very long and exhausting working day. I came home at 4:40pm and was very tired. But also curious - so the first thing I did was opening the mail. On the parcel was written "Amazon" and out came:

Roget's A-Z Thesaurus

Thank you Junn-chan! Thank you so very very very much!
The english thesaurus was a birthday present from lovefujitez and I so totally love it! Need to read it over the weekend...

As happy as I was, it was also very shocking. I had expected TezuFuji-Doujis and it was even near PoT-related. I was really horrified because it was weekend too and I wouldn't have the chance to get to the post office until monday!

That where my first thought, but then I realized that our post offices had open until 6pm. So I grabbed my keys and purse and run to the post office. I was anxious - it would have been really bad if they lost my doujis.

But after I explained the situation and the post officer searched she found I second parcel for me. The right one!

So today I got my thesaurus and my doujis!
I'm so very very very happy!

*hugs junn-chan and the whole world*

Something new!

2008-11-14T14:21:56Z

YAY! I got my new laptop yesterday in the evening.
So for the weekend I have lots of configurating to do.

And data transfers.

But I'm so happy! It's working.
Fluently!

Can't wait to do some writing on it to get used to the keyboard.
It will be a very short weekend.

(I hope that I could buy a new tennis racked today, but since it's already 3 pm and I'm stuck at work it's seems like I'm running out of time. Well... maybe next week...)

Drabble Tezuka x Fuji

2008-10-18T04:09:14Z

Title: Inui's data
Author: Jenchan (aka me!)
Pairing: Tezuka x Fuji
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I just claim the idea of this drabble and nothing else.
Warnings: A kiss and nakedness (I forgot: shonen ai!)
Summary: (does a drabble need one?) Tezuka returns from work.

A/N: I wrote this for lovefujitez and I really have to thank her for beta-ing it. Hopefully my english will improve soon. And I don't like the title - but I couldn't post it without so I decided on this one. (I'm always greatful for any title suggestions.)

~Inui's data~

"Syusuke? What are you doing?" Tezuka just returned from work and found his roommate and friend in the kitchen since Fuji was responsible for cooking their meals. That alone wasn't an irritating sight, but today was a totally different scenario.

"I'm cooking dinner," Fuji answered with his usual smile on his face and chuckled quietly, "You should know that by now, ne Kunimitsu?"

They have addressed each other with their first names for some time now. Fuji insisted that it's normal to do so between good friends and they've known each other for such a long time. Tezuka relented and found the idea was not as bad as he thought it would be.

"Where are your clothes?" Tezuka asked arching his brow curiously. His heart was pounding hard and he couldn't turn his eyes away from Fuji, clad in only a pink apron.

"You like it?"

"Syusuke..."

Fuji approached him and Tezuka needed all his self-control not to budge. It was hard because he lusted after his friend for some time now and he knew it was wrong. But here, he was, almost naked in the kitchen, his sweat glistening on soft looking skin.

"Is everything alright? You’re not running a fever, are you?" Fuji opened his deep blue eyes and glinted at the taller man. That's when Tezuka lost his control.

"You asked for it." He growled and kissed his friend passionately.

Fuji didn't really mind at all.

Inui gave him a 99% chance for success. Trust Inui and his data...

Note: I'll translate it german - someday

Woah!

2008-10-16T09:40:47Z

I've gone crazy - I'm surely gone crazy!

Note:
You shall not translate german fanfics in english if you have no time at all!

Hilfe gesucht ^^***

Anyways - for future entrys I'll try to write english only.
(I'll fail but... well... we'll see)
Decision is made becaus of said translations.
I really do need to practice my english more.

Currently I'm reading classic english: 'Dubliners' from James Joyce
(I need more time...)

I'm sure I'll get something written in the next few weeks.
(But I'm not sure wether it'll be in english or in german... but I do need to write again.)

Special thanks to lovefujitezu and of course to tacuma... I really enjoy our exchanges.

Feel free to criticise me ^.~

Time for creativity

2008-03-30T20:30:12Z

Nya >.<

I want to say this once!

Wisst ihr eigentlich wie kacke es ist, wenn man so hyper-kreativ ist, aber nichts damit anfangen kann, weil einem einfach die Zeit fehlt?

Das ist schrecklich >.<

Aber dafür habe ich heute ein PoT-TeFu-OneShot fertig bekommen *O*

Und darauf bin ich stolz!

Dennoch - Life sucks... I want to write - but there's no time >.<

Aber damit muss man Leben >.<

ganbatte!

When you feel bored...

2008-03-14T19:22:04Z

Quak!

Nein, ich bin kein Frosch oder Ente.

Ich bin eine Schnecke ^^***

Ehrlich... manchmal frage ich mich, warum ich mir das antu...
Aber was soll's ^^***

Mir war langweilig, also warum nicht endlich dem Drängen meiner lieben Freunde nachgeben und sich ein LiveJournal basteln.

Es macht ja unheimlich Spaß -.-*

Naja, vielleicht wird's ja noch was - ist ja erst der Anfang.

So when I'm feeling bored, maybe there will be another entry...

Back to life... maybe... sometimes...